Resolute. Not resolutions.

Yesterday my head was a swirling mess of thoughts. What did I want for the new year? What can I change? What do I *want* to change? This time of year everyone is discussing resolutions and starting new routines that will be one more thing on their to-do list. One more thing that will cause stress when the idea behind it was originally the opposite.

I have things in my life I want to change. Things I want to right and areas in my life I want to grow.

But I really don't like the idea of resolutions.

I don't need another thing on my to-do list. This is my problem. This is what I need to change. My husband pointed out to me that I have four full-time jobs. What person in their right mind does this to themselves. Me, apparently.

In my attempt to not write the obligatory New Year's Resolution post, I am afraid I am about to do just that. But hear me. I am resolute. But this post will be about life changes. Not promises to break.

I am going to....
             quit jobs
                    reorganize priorities
                                          Be present                              

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
God is already there. 
I spend a lot of time planning for the future. Being excited about what is going to happen a year from now. Why can I not be excited about what is happening now? I need to appreciate giggle. Every Mommy. Every comforting hug I get the chance to give. Because those are happening now. Not a year from now. There are changes every year. But tomorrow. Next month. A year from now. God is already there. So, I don't have to be. 

Okay... so I am present. I am currently sitting in the middle of my house trying to figure out what is present in my life. I am surrounded by babies... some belong to others and a few to myself. And I smile. But this is also two jobs on my list. I am a mother. To my own kids. To other people's kids. 
Deuteronomy 6:5-8
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.

This is my first job. 
Period. 

I have always done things for them and with them in mind. But I haven't been present. I have concentrated on them and unfortunately, I haven't concentrated on them. I thought providing for them was more important than being with them. Being present. I was wrong. This will change. Just like my priorities.

I am excited. I am ready to conquer fear because when I was busy running around with my head cut off, it was easy to ignore the fear that I won't make enough money. That I will fail as a mom if it is the only thing I do. Fear about many other things. I won't let  fear win. So, I will be present. I will take fear off the priority list.

I am CEO at the Higgins House. I will not fail because God is there. We will have plenty of money because God will provide. And I will be present because God has already taken care of tomorrow. 

Titus 2:5

To be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

I am ready.