I live in my head. Sometimes on the right side and sometimes on the left-side. Both are very dangerous for me because I need a balance between the two! Lately I have been analyzing and needing tangible answers for tough questions. I usually do this when I feel like I am out of control and I am trying to gain some order. I had a conversation with a sweet friend the other day about all the thoughts in my head. She asked me what I thought God was trying to teach me. I had no clue. At that moment, I wasn't sure where God was. I was too upset with not having answers and not knowing what was next. How selfish and self-righteous I was. After I stepped back and took a breath I started to feel completely unappreciative of the things I have and God has done for me. He has saved me many times, given me grace when I didn't feel like I deserved it and again I was choosing to ignore what he was saying.
His timing is beautiful. His will is perfect.
My priorities usually get out of whack. I usually lose sight of what is important. I made the choice to stay at home with my sweet girls and be the main influence in their lives. What am I teaching them when I am not trusting God. When I am not present in our daily life because my anxiety is distracting me. When I worry about the things I can not control instead of the things I can.
I choose to be present and focus on my daily life. I need to narrow my field of vision to my house, my family, my responsibilities. Mainly, focus on God and his promises to me. That is where my answers should come from. And if there aren't answers I can see right now, that is okay because his timing is beautiful and His is will is prefect.
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