Weight of Words

Today I arrived to pick up my girls from their Parent's Day Out program. I was so excited. The day was beautiful, we were going to play outside at the playground and I couldn't wait for the girls to show me their eggs from the hunts earlier that day. I walked into my oldest daughter's classroom and heard the five words no parent wants to hear from their child's teacher... "Emily got in trouble today". Apparently, my precocious daughter told her class during nap time to 'shut up'. I was instantly angry, disappointed and embarrassed... in myself. 
I quit my job and decided to be a stay-at-home mommy. I wanted to have a lot of influence in my daughters' lives. I wanted to be there for her when she needed me. I wanted to set a good example for her. I have not done these things as well as I wanted.
Am I being a little hard on myself ? Sure. I am. But why shouldn't I be? Being her mommy is my job. And she deserves to have the best example I can give her. If I was working for a business, they wouldn't let something like this slide.
I have said over and over again that I know the my 'attitude' and my 'sarcasm' are not attractive qualities on my daughter. She pays attention to everything I do. She watches and hears when I wish that she wouldn't. It is time for me to change my words and no just admitting my faults. Actually doing something is what counts.
I asked a very good friend today what she would do in this situation. She told me that she would redirect her child but not punish them because it's not right to punish her for something she picked up from someone else. That someone else was me. I was the negative influence
I was so mad at myself. But then in the same hour I watched this sassy little girl pat her little sister's head and sing her a song to calm her down. She loved on her little sister and put her to sleep. There was so much love in her touch and tenderness in her voice. I would also like to think she picked that up from me too. So I have not completely failed, but I have taken some missteps.
My daughters are wonderful daily reminders about so many things. Today, the reminded me of my faults and my shortcomings. It is what I do with this information that matters.