Weight of Words

Today I arrived to pick up my girls from their Parent's Day Out program. I was so excited. The day was beautiful, we were going to play outside at the playground and I couldn't wait for the girls to show me their eggs from the hunts earlier that day. I walked into my oldest daughter's classroom and heard the five words no parent wants to hear from their child's teacher... "Emily got in trouble today". Apparently, my precocious daughter told her class during nap time to 'shut up'. I was instantly angry, disappointed and embarrassed... in myself. 
I quit my job and decided to be a stay-at-home mommy. I wanted to have a lot of influence in my daughters' lives. I wanted to be there for her when she needed me. I wanted to set a good example for her. I have not done these things as well as I wanted.
Am I being a little hard on myself ? Sure. I am. But why shouldn't I be? Being her mommy is my job. And she deserves to have the best example I can give her. If I was working for a business, they wouldn't let something like this slide.
I have said over and over again that I know the my 'attitude' and my 'sarcasm' are not attractive qualities on my daughter. She pays attention to everything I do. She watches and hears when I wish that she wouldn't. It is time for me to change my words and no just admitting my faults. Actually doing something is what counts.
I asked a very good friend today what she would do in this situation. She told me that she would redirect her child but not punish them because it's not right to punish her for something she picked up from someone else. That someone else was me. I was the negative influence
I was so mad at myself. But then in the same hour I watched this sassy little girl pat her little sister's head and sing her a song to calm her down. She loved on her little sister and put her to sleep. There was so much love in her touch and tenderness in her voice. I would also like to think she picked that up from me too. So I have not completely failed, but I have taken some missteps.
My daughters are wonderful daily reminders about so many things. Today, the reminded me of my faults and my shortcomings. It is what I do with this information that matters.

A Year

It is amazing to me the difference a week can make. Last week we celebrated my daughter's first birthday. Today I remember my grandmother's passing a year ago. I remember having this same bittersweet feeling last year. I was so excited to have my daughter in my life. We had just finished having her newborn photos taken and my mother was in town helping us out. When she came to pick me and Kate up at the photographer's, she told me that Grandma had passed overnight. My grandmother was so many things to me. But instead of having a hole where she used to be, I shine with all the things she taught me. 

My most precious thing I received after her passing was the white glass fruit bowl that always sat in the middle of her table. It was never empty. 

I have felt empty. Many times over the last year. Not only because of her absence, but because of poor decisions I was making. Many of you know that I was in school to become a therapist. One of the last conversations I had with my grandmother was about this. She told me that I should always do what glorified God and made him happy. The tricky thing about my grandmother was she always had pearls of wisdom like this, but she never had a full explanation of what it meant. So I have decided that her pearls where more like the rocks that enter the oyster and it is up to me to make them into a pearl. I interpreted this phrase into many things along the way trying to make my pearl. Once I stopped trying to make the rock into something it wasn't, I got my pearl. The oyster doesn't try to make the rock into a pearl. It just does it's job and it creates the pearl along the way. So I prayed about what my job really was and my pearl just happened. It did not involve being a therapist, it involved me being me. 

There was a line in a book called Storyline that said your job does not define you. Once I learned to define myself , I became who I have always wanted to be. This is the lesson my grandmother was trying to teach me when she told me things like "whatever you do, make sure it glorifies God". She wanted us to find our way with her guidance. Not tell us how to live our lives. She always said the best lessons are the ones you learn yourself. So along the way I have learned to ask myself, "how could I glorify him when I was so focused on myself; when I wasn't my happiest and I wasn't using the gifts he gave me?"

My Grandmother was an amazing leader, a wise teacher and fantastic mother to more than just her family. These are things I aspire to be. I want to have a table where family and friends gather, feel welcome and leave feeling happier. I want a place my kids can ask me the hard questions about faith and life, where I might lead one of them to give their lives to God like I did with her and where I can continue my ministry; whatever it may become in the future. I want to honor my grandmother in all things I do. 

The first way I chose to honor my grandmother was to trust God to guide me to where I am and continue to trust him to lead me through whatever may come. My anxiety was always a concern to her and was at the top of her prayer list. She told me she prayed for me from the first day she knew about me to (I'm sure) the night she passed. She told me I was a blessed little girl, protected by God. I want to honor her by remembering that on a daily basis and not giving into my anxiety. I want to trust God. And I will because, even though i didn't learn this lesson before she passed, this is a lesson my Grandmother taught me. 

I want to create a table worthy of having this white glass fruit bowl in the middle of it. I want it to be one of the first things I see in the morning so I can remember my Grandmother on the good days, the bad days and every day in between. 

Pretty in Pink

In the middle of a kitchen remodel, I thought it would be a good idea to host my daughter's first birthday. Sometimes, I don't think things through all the way. I knew the theme, had my friend over at Topsy Turvy Print Shop on Etsy design the wonderful paper decorations, but I didn't have a functional kitchen. So I had to improvise. I borrowed a kitchen and stayed up late the night before. It all came together. This little face deserved it!

The theme was Pretty in Pink and I had it all planned out in my head. Of course most of the inspiration came from Pinterest, but a lot of it was spur of the moment problem solving. That is where I am most creative! 

I had some old drawers laying around after tearing out the kitchen. So I thought, let's use these and dress up serving hot dogs and hamburgers. 

Cake table. I took an old shutter I have for a future project and gave the table a good backdrop. I didn't want the background of this table to be the corner of my living room. I am sure there was dust and all that unfun stuff that comes with a remodel. I could do better!

Gluten free cupcakes for the gluten-intolerant birthday girl.

Birthday cake also designed by a sweet friend!

Favors. Pink cookies! Unfortunately we had a lot of these left over. I say unfortunately because I know they will all be eaten... by me!

The whole spread. I had pictures of Kate's first year scrolling on the television. I had the idea and the hubby had the skills to make it happen. Something involving an iPad and Apple TV. That's all I know :)

The drinks were outside since that is where the fun took place. I built this stand over a year ago and I finally was able to use it for something!

My sweet family. It was a success and I couldn't be happier with the way things turned out. Now time to refocus my attention on painting all my kitchen cabinets. 

Hello General Public

Up until now, my furniture pieces have either been for a client who has a specific look in mind or something for myself (very few of those!). A few months ago a good friend (and my best publicist) told me that I had been invited to put some pieces in a local second-hand sale by the owner of the franchise. I was so excited but nervous. My anxiety hit the roof. I went to my favorite flea market, found some bed side tables and some chairs on Craig's List. All eight pieces have been sitting my garage calling my name for two months now. I finally got to work on them this week.... the week they are due... the week I remodel my kitchen and throw my daughter's first birthday party. While I could complain about the procrastinating and the lack of sleep, honestly, the lack of time was good for me because I couldn't fret over the imperfections in each piece. I made quick choices and, in the end, I was happy. Of course, now I am nervous no one will buy them. But that is just a product of my anxiety and neurosis coming together.


Moving on, here are the before and after pictures. There are a few pieces I need to replicate! I fell in love with them

This was my first real wood putty project. When I decided to paint these chairs and put them in the sell, I knew I needed to paint some of them boy colors. I have so my friends with little boys and they are always saddened by the lack of little boy options. I decided flowers weren't really little boy, so out came the wood putty. This turned into the gray chair below. 

This chair was amazing. It had so many curves and wonderful spindles. I did a trade with a design friend of mine. This chair for a giant mirror. The chair became what is below and I am waiting to see what she turns the mirror into. 

This picture is from my post last week. Little did I know that most of these paint/fabric choices would change  I thought I was so smart to have all this picked out. Projects have a mind of their own though.

The Afters!!

This is my favorite. 

My kitchen and dining room are a complete disaster because of the remodel. So I had to take these pictures outside quickly before we loaded them up to go sell them. I am so excited see everyone's reactions!
You'll notice there are not either pieces, but instead seven. Well maybe you won't notice, but I would and feel like there should be an explanation. I picked up an end table and I had these great plans to paint the bottom and then do chalkboard paint on the top. Well, frog tape failed me. I can blame it on user error, but considering it was the only mess up I had, I am blaming the tape.  The chalkboard paint bled and I didn't have time to fix it. So I am forced to keep it for myself (oh darn) and make it perfect. I know my girls will enjoy having it in their play room. More projects for later.   But now, I must go focus my attention on my kitchen! I do have a party to plan without it!

Reverie

Today, I am alone in my house. My girls are at their Tuesday Thursday school. My daycare kids all are somewhere else today (an actual coincidence) and I am free to do what I want/need... until 2:30 at pick up time. First, I sent the girls to school with their Daddy for Donuts with Daddy day.

Then after drinking coffee and watching a show on my DVR... which I feel is a rarity, I got up and started painting on projects that are approaching their deadline.

Then I decided to take a break and check Facebook, browse Pinterest and enjoy the quiet in my house. This is my life. And it is amazing. For almost a decade I have had an idea of what my life should be. Money, big house, fancy job, helping make the world a better place. Can you see what is wrong with that list? I can see a lot of things wrong with it. I was going through life so fast that I didn't take the time notice, though. Once my life came to a stand-still and I was forced to think, I made the best decision of my life and decided to fix that priority list. My schedule today includes what is near and dear to me.... My girls, me time and then projects/work.

Since this shift, I am smiling a lot more. I feel like I should get on Facebook every day and tell everyone how happy I am. But I don't have to tell people. People can see it. And I am learning that this is a normal feeling. Other people feel the way I do and don't feel the need to post about it or yell it from the roof tops because this is how people deserve to feel. My paradigm has shifted and I realize this is 'normal'. I am realigning my life, I am relearning myself and I am enjoying every second of it. I am learning to Shine a Little. This is my daily reverie.

Plan B is better than Plan A

My client saw my desk and fell in love with the color. So she wanted Duck Egg blue on the bottom and the top stained. I can do that. Easy.

Sometimes I think furniture has a mind of its own.

Another Craig's List find. So I sanded the top in preparation for the sanding. As soon as I got through the 'varnish' they had on top, I found the nasty plywood that was underneath. The border is wood, but not the middle. So I thought I would try to stain it. I know I know... Plywood doesn't like stain. But I am stubborn, so I tried. The plywood is apparently more stubborn than I am. It won.

So on to plan B. I left the border stained and I treated the top like the legs. I have to say I like plan B better than the original plan! And I found a table that looks just like this at a flea market I frequent and picked it up to repeat this look. Can't wait.

Close up of the legs.

In its permanent home with the yellow end table peeking out in the back! This client wanted some color in her living room and I was so happy to give it to her!

More Yellow. Hooray!

My yellow chair client referred me to this client... who happened to also want some yellow pieces. So we continue with the yellow trend. But I knew I was really attached to this color when my client called me one day and said her husband just couldn't wrap his mind around yellow. I was thinking "I have been there"! But I had already put a coat of paint on one of the tables (Oh Darn!!). So I got to stick with the yellow! In this project I also learned the importance of hand painting and how not everything can be done quickly. This seems to be a trend in my everyday life. I am always open to learn a good lesson :)

And my disclaimer before you continue is I am learning to use my new camera. No laughing (at least that I know about) at any flaws in the pictures.

This was a Craig's List find that my client loved her husband described as cardboard. It turned out to be the prettiest piece of cardboard I have seen. 

Had to fix the door. Whole doors are good things. 

Oh, the hand painting I mentioned earlier. 

 With the clear and dark wax. 

With doors in my house. I have pictures of it in its permanent house, but those will come in another post!

The other table. I feel sorry for this piece. All of my progress pictures were completely messed up because of my poor skills with my new camera. 

But at least he has a picture of himself in his permanent home. I tried to make it up to him. 

Now to post about the coffee table so you can see the whole room. 

I Like Yellow?

It has been radio silence on my blog for too long. I got wrapped up in projects and family and realized I am four projects behind! I have my big kitchen remodel next week AND I just had another trip to Canton, which added to my project list. I am so excited.
But first things first. My client dropped of four chairs in my garage one afternoon and said she didn't know what color to paint them. She went home, sent me a picture of her curtains and the the table she was having built. We started talking paint colors and she kept mentioning a mustard color. Mustard was not on my list of favorite colors. I do not know everything (shocker, right!) and the best things happen when I step out of my box! And I can proudly say that mustard is now one of my favorite colors.

Before....

 Three coats on the back.

The front legs have multiple coats... the back legs do not. All paints cover the same... Something I had to keep reminding myself!

She wanted me to recover the seats which I was not afraid of. What I was afraid of was the piping... But I tried anyway.  

My client picked a damask burlap, so to help the burlap hold up longer, I decided to not take off the ugly fake leather that was already on the seat. 

How they looked in my house. 

How they looked in place.  

 

I can now officially say I love yellow! Which is good because my next client wanted the same thing. Just wait. It gets better!