Willow is 9 Months

Nine months old. I met this sweet girl when she was 3 months and I have been able to watch her grow and change over six months. It is amazing how many changes babies go through in such a short amount of time. 

This girl can now sit, stand up against things, jabber and she has the most beautiful smile which she can usually produce on cue. 

Sweet Willow, you will be in one in just a few months and I can't wait!! 

Abbye the Artist

Imagine if you were allowed to do something you have daydreamed about. Something from your wildest imagination. 

Now imagine you're a child. Would that change your answer?? 

Sweet Abbye Cate wants to be an artist. When her mom asked her, she didn't hesitate. She came to the studio ready to go. It didn't take her long to decide what she wanted to paint. She didn't hesitate when she walked up to the canvas. She was confident in her decisions and painted a beautiful rainbow. Which I am sure she couldn't have picked a better image for her sweet personality. Her mom said she was so excited about the experience and kept talking about it afterwards.

That is my goal! What is something your child wants to do? Create? Experience? Can we catch it on film so it lasts a lifetime??

Enough

Being enough.

Who decides?

In a perfect world, you decide. You make that decision based on your personal emotions and it isn't based on anyone else’s opinions. After all, it is your life and God created you to be the perfect version of who you are.

Although, I am pretty sure no one has ever walked up to my face and told me that I wasn't enough. 

Those words usually come to me at the end of a long day when I am tired, my house is a mess and the only thing I can say is my children smiled at some point during our chaos.

You are not enough.

You should have done more.

Or when I choose to not take on that one extra committee or responsibility.

You are not enough.

You are selfish.

Or when a friendship disintegrates or my children get in trouble at school or when my family has to eat beans and cornbread because my budget didn't stretch as far as I needed it to.

You are not enough

You are a failure.

I sat in a room last night with women I had little or no relationship with. The devotional we were there to listen to centered around women not feeling like they are enough. Moms dealing with hardships and fighting a fight they feel is an uphill battle. I listened to personal stories and quotes from books trying to build mothers up, reminding them that they have a purpose and the fight against the world is worth it for them and their children. I looked around the room and there were a lot of moms nodding theirs heads in agreement to these words. My heart was screaming yes to these words, but I knew deeper that these words weren't me.

There were moments in my life. There have been afternoons where they were true. Nights where I believed nothing else. But they aren't me. They are the moments that build me up to be a better woman, person, mom, friend. But they are balanced by all the successes I have. All the love I give, the growth I've done, the time I spend and the tears I shed. The negative and the positive, the good and the bad come together to make me who I am.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  2 Corinthians 12:9.

I am enough.

And please know that you are, too.

Double Standards

I am really good at helping other with their problems. At least I think that I am and sure know I enjoy doing it.

Sometimes, I am really impressed by the questions that come out of my mouth. I love when I get down to the deep stuff with people.

You know what I don't like?

When someone else asks me those same questions.

woah. Woah. WOAH.

Who do I think I am?

How can I ask questions I am not willing to answer?

Double Standard. I really don't like those.

The other day I was struggling. If I could see the future, read minds or talk directly to God, I wouldn't have these problems. Also, if my faith was stronger... the same applies. But, that is another blog.

I was asked (by a really wise friend) "If this was your daughter going through the same struggle, what would you tell her?" 

This is such a good question. I have asked this question. I obviously did not make up this question. I also did not want to answer this question.

Would I want my daughter to feel this way? Allow herself to be in this position? Not want better for herself?

Of course not.

There have been so many times that I have witnessed parents doing one thing and then telling their children another.

Don't talk about someone behind their back. Always be nice. Then we turn around and start a sentence with "Did you hear...?"

Put God first. Love others as God loved us. But instead of us doing that, we pursue more money, nicer things, more status.

Be yourself. Love yourself for who you are. No, you don't have to change clothes. I love your quirky personality. But we censor ourselves. Hide our vulnerable parts and try to fit in.

We don't hold ourselves to the same standards that we hold our children to.

Don't we lead our children? Don't we set the example for them? Shouldn't we be their role models?

Are we filling these rolls when we aren't taking our own advice. Not answering the questions that are too hard?

Double Standard.

I am going to answer the hard questions from now on. For my children. For my family. For my friends and for myself. I am going to live a life I would be proud for my daughters to mimic.

I want to become really good at answering the hard questions. Not just asking them.

Love or Judgment

Being a Christian is hard.

Being a Christian friend is even harder.

                                                             For me, at least.

Early in my life I was the black and white friend. There were rules about how you were supposed to behave and the things you were supposed to and if my friend didn’t follow those, I let them know. I let them know just how far off the path they were and exactly, step by step what they needed to do to get back on track. But whose track was it? It wasn’t God’s path. It was my perception of what God wanted.

A wise friend told me that judgment is based on human motivation and not on God’s word. Even though I have heard these words recently, they were so true of how I used to be. I did not have much knowledge of God’s word. And the tidbits I did know, I used as a weapon of judgment with sharp scriptural edges and a pointed finger. I lost a lot of friends with this weapon and I decided I wanted to change. I wanted to be a light for people, not someone who pushed people into darkness with harsh words and no grace.

Over the last decade, I have spent my time growing up and changing. I have decided to live in the gray and make my decisions based on the Bible. I decided living in the gray area was better than the strict black and white because:

“It’s not my job to judge”

“I am called to love”

“Everyone deserves grace”

Even though my motives are much nicer, I have decided that I am still not doing any favors to my friends. My motives were to make sure people feel love, mine and God’s, regardless of their past mistakes. I want everyone to know they have worth and they are precious. I learned these things through a long path of growth and self-discovery and I wanted others to know the same things that liberated me. Honestly, it was selfish. These things are exciting to me and mean something because I learned them myself. 

But I haven’t learned where that line is…. the line between having a sharp tongue of truth and how to show love and grace instead of encouraging self-destructive behavior.

The Bible says this….

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

But then I have to remember

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

But this is the scripture that drives me in my friendships.

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace. 1 Peter 4:8-10

I think I make being a Christian friend difficult because of my own hang ups.  I can’t save my friends from making the mistakes I did or their own mistakes. I can’t let my own insecurities (acceptance, judgment, loneliness) interfere with the purpose God’s scriptures and I have to trust in God that if I follow his words, I am pleasing him.

My hope for my actions is this.

As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man.  Proverbs 27:19

And as I find the courage to listen to God over the neurosis in my head (anxiety, self-doubt) I hope that…

That is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith, both yours and mine.  Romans 1:12

I feel like even in writing this, I am still arguing with myself and struggling to find confidence in my role as a Christian friend.

BUT…

Now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.  1 Corinthians 13:13

Lesley's Table

My first client projects table of 2014 actually started in 2013. I try to tell my clients that I am slow. This particular client said it was worth the wait. Bless her and her patient self!

It was a family heirloom and so of course that made me paranoid I was going to mess it up. But after I finished and delivered it, I was kinda proud of it.

Stripped the top and got it ready for stain. 

I didn't take a before picture, but the legs didn't get stripped since they were going to be painted. So that is the color we started with. 

Applying the stain.

My helpers. 

One chair has dark wax and one doesn't. I think it added just the right amount of something different. 

Delivered and in place!

Yellow really is growing on me.

2014 is hopefully going to be a huge year for us. We are signing up for a lot of shows and working hard to bring y'all more photos and projects. Stick around!!